As a society we are obsessed with conflict. We love it and we hate it. We love to watch it on reality shows. We like to see it in others as long as we aren’t close to it. We love to watch our sports teams and athletes square off. We love to take sides, to find wrong and right and to see winners and losers. We also love to do whatever it takes to avoid conflict because it is uncomfortable. We will withhold information, side step by saying something different than we really mean and sometimes completely run away.
What if we saw conflict as sharing punches? As a sort of maze that we both had to go into and navigate together to come out of with some new answers? What if we saw conflict as a process to learn about what hurts us, what we are desperate to defend and how much we want our ideas heard? What if we saw the person we are having conflict with as having the same issues? What if we didn’t see the result of conflict having to have a winner and loser, a right and wrong person? Would we try to avoid it as much?